Creating Space… To Shape Your Energy as a Leader

Leading With VOICCE® Series.

Have you ever spent time with someone who radiates negativity, cynicism, and friction?

What about calm, receptivity, or patience?

Have you ever walked into a room and felt the stress before anyone even uttered a word?

When is the last time you took the temperature on your own energy?

In my first career out of college, I worked for a company I respected, promoting a product I despised, and meeting people that taught me more in 4 years about navigating the world than any psychology course ever could. 

I spent about as much time on the back roads of Highway 50 and State Route 32 as any Schneider truck spent up and down I-75. I was responsible for going store to store to execute, or enforce - as some would say, contractual agreements between the retailer and the cigarette manufacturer I worked for. I covered roughly 150 stores each month, and over the course of my 4 years there, encountered thousands of retail leaders, and had just as many direct exchanges.

The people I met, situations I encountered, and challenges I faced became the foundation for my own self-study. And have forever shifted the way I observe my own energy, and the energy of others. 

Do you need to deliver difficult news? You must first check the energy you bring into the conversation.

Are you hoping to persuade or influence a retail decision? Your energy is the starting point.

Are you having a bad day? They'll know it, even if you don't say it.

Your energy introduces you before you even speak. Unknown

We Lead Without Speaking

Energy is one of those topics that often goes unacknowledged - similar to electricity - until it's off. Someone comes into the room radiating anger and everyone in the room is suddenly on guard. You watch an executive take the podium, and assess whether they are preparing to delivery good news or bad news in milliseconds. Yet we seldom pause to think about the energy that we are carrying with us day to day.

Energy Is Transferred

One time I needed to "non-comply" a retailer. This meant he would lose out on his allotted payment for the month for failing to meet the terms of our contractual agreement. This was a particularly big deal for independent retailers. They often counted on those checks to help supplement their retail income. 

He was so angry he yelled and kicked a metal cigarette case with all his might. It's the only time I've legitimately been scared for my safety in a professional environment. His anger was so palpable that I went from afraid to outraged in seconds. 

I knew it was my responsibility to hold him accountable to the agreement, yet in the moment I could only feel the energy he was radiating. Taking a deep breath I decided to leave - and shared that I'd return the following week. 

I remember sitting outside in the car the next week, dreading the conversation, but preparing to walk in with professionalism nonetheless. Walking in I politely asked for him, and waited for him to come to the front. 

Although I was cautious, I refused to be intimidated. Smiling I greeted him respectfully, and in that moment, something in his eyes shifted. He was prepared for a fight. I was prepared for a rational adult conversation. We never had another issue after that. In the end, he apologized for his behavior the week prior, and his store remained in compliance the rest of my time on that route. 

We're Responsible For The Energy We Bring

The days working that retail route stayed with me long after I transitioned to future roles. I met so many interesting people, navigated some incredibly difficult conversations, and learned so many methods for communicating effectively. The one thing that I've always carried is this - I am the one responsible for the energy I bring into any setting. 

While I don't think it's possible to control another human, I believe we can all be influenced.

I've learned that leading with respect often earns respect - and it's not just in what you say. 

I've learned that if you want someone to trust you, you must radiate an energy of safety and non-judgment. 

I've experience the difference between someone who says they have your back, and someone that shows you in how they engage with you.

We spend a lot of time preparing slide decks so that we can say what needs to be said. The bigger question is, have we taken responsibility for the energy that speaks to our audience before a single word has ever been exchanged?

One of my favorite questions to ask the leaders I support is:

How do you want to lead under pressure?

Spend time with this one, and notice how your energy shifts the next time you are faced with a difficult discussion or decision. 

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Tian Philson Leadership, Wellness & Mindset Coach | Creator of the VOICCE® Decision Making & Empowerment Framework | Helping leaders go inward so they can go upward.