Creating Space … To Overcome Comparison Culture

We know that the media is an altered version of real life, so why do we continue to use it as a measuring stick against our own lives?

Photo by Maca and Naca

We’ve all been caught up in comparison culture. We often turn to the internet for information, entertainment, or even inspiration. Yet somehow we start to find ourselves comparing our own life to the images we see. Continuing our conversation from last week, how can we embrace self acceptance by releasing the need to compare ourselves to others?

Let's Get Real—

How many times have you sat down, with no particular objective in mind, casually opened your phone, scrolled through your social media feed, and suddenly felt a sense of defeat or despair? Maybe not each time - I know there is plenty of good there, but can you recall at least once? I know I can. I can recall feeling like I was missing out on something. What? I don’t know. But everyone else seemed to be having so much more fun, traveling, hanging out, doing all these interesting things, yet I was sitting at home, holding my phone, and scowling. Or, we get caught up in DOOM SCROLLING - all the negative or overwhelming messages facing us, our fraught social and political climate takes us even lower. Neither of these serves our well-being, but there is another way.

Take Stock

We’ve long accepted that the images portrayed by the media have a way of distorting our reality, but the social media era seems to have amplified this distortion a thousandfold. Now, we suddenly have a peek into nearly everyone’s window who chooses to share openly in this digital space. Celebrities, public figures, people we haven’t seen since kindergarten— it’s all out there for consumption. A recent publication shows that although the effects of social media on our mental health are not necessarily universal, the ways in which we use it ultimately determine whether we guide ourselves down a path of digital distress. This digital stress can manifest in four different patterns: fear of missing out (FOMO), communication overload (particularly when receiving an influx of notifications), availability stress (feeling like you can't take a break from scrolling), and approval anxiety (monitoring likes/comments or hesitancy to post something).

Takeaway: Don’t get me wrong— there ARE positive elements of social media, such as self-expression and community— but the risks to our mental health can’t be ignored.

So, how do we enjoy social media without letting it drag us down? I’m sure you could share a dozen more tips than what I'm about to lay out, but here are my top few.

First: Take note of what's showing up in your feed. Are the people you engage with sharing images and messages that serve you in a positive way, or do they tend to have the opposite effect? Do you find yourself hyper-criticizing yourself or simply not enjoying the type of content they post? Do yourself a favor and unfollow/unfriend them.

Second: How often are you on social media, and for what purpose? If you lose hours each day simply scrolling a feed, getting pulled into the depths of the limitless negative messages and mindlessly ingesting EVERYTHING that’s put in front of you, a more mindful approach is likely in order. How else could you use that time to fuel your spirit?

Embrace Your Own Unique Gifts

Comparing yourself to others— whether in the digital world or real life— seldom serves a positive purpose. Well, maybe a little healthy competition is good, but when I think of healthy competition, I think of objective observation. I’m not convinced that the negative self-talk that happens when social scrolling takes a bad turn is in any way objective. The reality is, you will never know someone else's complete story, journey, or personal challenges, but you do know the unique gifts you possess. Turning your attention toward the things that make you unique and special will take you much further than fantasizing about someone else’s "gifts." Are you speaking to yourself in a positive, reassuring way, or are you criticizing yourself for not having the clearest, dewiest skin, the trendiest clothes, or the perfect body? Maybe you're also feeling stuck because you're not as 'successful' in your career as those influences who seem to have it all together— landing dream jobs, getting promoted, or building their businesses at lightning speed. Comparison culture can trick us into thinking we're not where we should be in our lives, when in reality, everyone's journey looks different.

Find Inspiration

Sometimes, social media has a way of reminding us of goals, interests, or hobbies we’ve since forgotten about. As a yoga instructor, it can be tough to see my feed overflowing with incredibly beautiful back-bending poses and one-arm handstands. Just to be clear, I’m pretty sure you’ll never find a one-arm handstand on my feed, lol. That said, I’ve learned to be inspired instead by the patience, persistence, and practice that has likely allowed for that pose. I’ve become more curious about my own anatomy— wondering which poses come easily versus which ones will require time— and rather than feeling defeated, I feel excited about the journey. I’m not perfect, and I do sometimes wonder why the hell my selfies never look so crisp, but more often than not, I’m inspired.

Photo by FG Trade

So how else might this apply? Let’s say you’ve always been a talented writer and you see beautifully inspiring memes posted online. Why not take it as an opportunity to dust off your own notebook and reignite your passion? Or maybe you’ve always been into fashion and follow a ton of fashion bloggers. How can this inspire you to hone your own skills, maybe style a friend or two, or even make a little money on the side? The possibilities are endless.

If we can move from a space of self-criticism to a space of self-appreciation, we can overcome the negative aspects of social media and embrace it for all the beauty it actually can possess.

What are your tips for consuming social media in healthy ways? What changes have you made to make it more inspiring? I am excited to hear from you!

Photo by Delmaine Donson

"Be so busy creating your own 'happy' that you don't have time to worry about someone else having more. Especially since 'more happy' isn't really a thing anyway"

Namaste,

Team LSF

Originally written by Tian Philson. Co-authored and edited by Emma Blessing.