Creating Space… For The Voices Behind the Silence

Leading With VOICCE® Series.

Have you ever really taken the time to observe the other participants in the meeting?

Many of us notice the ones who are engaging and jumping in, even before being called on.

There's another leader I've found particularly interesting to watch. The one who is following the conversation closely, but not contributing their own thoughts and ideas. 

These are the ones I like to pull to the side. I've also been that leader who chose silent observation over direct engagement. Sometimes I had something to say, and didn't feel like that was the time and place to say it. Other times I had concerns, but didn't trust that I was in a safe space to share my thoughts or reservations. 

I've pulled some of these leaders to the side later. What I've learned has stayed with me, especially as I coach more and more leaders who share similar experiences. 

Psychological safety is defined by Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson as a shared team belief that interpersonal risk-taking is safe. 

Google's Project Aristotle concluded that Psychological Safety is the #1 predictor of team effectiveness. 

Yet, according to a recent study by Gallup, only 3 in 10 employees strongly agree their opinion counts at work.

Exploring The Gap

"He who is silent agrees" is a maxim many of us have heard. But what if silence is actually a sign of something deeper in the workplace? Particularly when thinking about leaders who are typically highly capable and deeply engaged. 

At some point, highly capable leaders are shifting from engaged and invested to going quiet, nodding along, doing what is asked, and nothing more. 

According to the work of Amy Edmondson and Tijs Besieux - Voice and Silence In Workplace Conversations - there are actually two types of silence. 

Productive silence represents a space of processing, reflection, and contemplation. But there is another silence- withholding- that often goes unacknowledged. 

Edmondson's research has shown that most leaders know there is an impact to going silent, but they still choose to anyway.

If only 3 in 10 employees feel their opinion counts at work, then 7 of 10 feel their opinion doesn't - to some degree. They're not going silent because they don't care. They're often going silent because they don't feel their input will be valued. 

Understanding The Impact

If our most capable leaders feel as though their input has no value, what happens to the teams that they lead? What is the impact on the initiatives and strategies that are intended to fuel the company purpose (and profit) forward?

In some of my own sidebar conversations, I have learned that going silent has, for many leaders, become a form of self-preservation. Fighting for a particular position where it feels like you're being ignored feels fruitless. In a time where leaders are constantly battling burnout - over 50% according to Deloitte - expending energy screaming into the void feels pointless. 

What happens then? Initiatives stall. Energy is absorbed by the rest of the team. Leaders and employees disengage. 

Leaders are carrying things many organizations struggle to see. Well-intended development initiatives can help, but only if they focus on the deeper challenges - building psychological safety, navigating uncertainty with clear tools for decision-making, support for emotional labor and tools to build resilience - to name a few. 

A Starting Point

Resolving all of a leader's pain points can feel daunting. However, all leaders and organizations can start with one clear starting point. 

Begin with a more intentional check-in.

If you only ask your team or leaders one question this week, ask this: 

"What do you need that you're not saying?"

Posing a question like this can feel vulnerable. What if they ask for something that's not feasible? Stay curious. Keep the lines of communication open. Why this particular thing? What is the impact of not having it? What's the real pain?

Sometimes our teams want to simply feel heard. It does noone any good to promise, and not deliver, so be honest. But be sincere. Even if we can't deliver on 100% of what our leaders need - asking, and being sincerely ready to listen and understand, will take us much further than silence ever will. 

Going Deeper

Asking "what do you need that you're not saying" is a strong start. But a single question won't undo months, or years, of leaders learning that silence is safer than speaking up. That takes a different kind of work. Not a training that checks a box, but a space where leaders can practice being honest again, in a space that feels safe to confront hard truths.

If you're the one responsible for building that kind of space - and you're tired of initiatives that look good on a slide but don't move anything - I'd love to talk about what that could look like for your team.

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Tian Philson - Leadership Transformation & Decision-Making Coach | Creator of the VOICCE® Decision Making & Empowerment Framework | Helping leaders go inward so they can go upward.